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Love, Lust, or Marriage?

Love, Lust, or Marriage?

How do you know if you're in love, in lust, or really married? For those of you who have any questions, or misplaced envy, this should clear it up:

LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - When you lose your child in crowded room.

LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love."
LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing."
MARRIAGE - What the hell are you talking about?

LOVE - When you share everything you own.
LUST - When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.

LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE - What's a climax?

LOVE - When you write poems about your partner.
LUST - When all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE - When all you write is cheques.

LOVE - When you show concern for your partner's feelings.
LUST - When you couldn't give a &*%$
MARRIAGE -When your only concern is what's on TV.

LOVE - When your farewell is "I love you, darling..."
LUST - When your farewell is "So, same time next week..."
MARRIAGE - When your farewell is a relief.

LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST - When you only see each other naked.
MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake.

LOVE - When your heart flutters every time you see them.
LUST - When your groin twitches every time you see them.
MARRIAGE - When your wallet empties every time you see them.

LOVE - When nobody else matters.
LUST - When nobody else knows.
MARRIAGE - When everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.

LOVE - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST - When the song on the radio determines how you do it.
MARRIAGE - When you listen to talk radio.

LOVE - When breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST - When staying together is something you try not to think about.
MARRIAGE - When just getting through today is your only thought.

LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things with your partner.
LUST - When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner.
MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your golf score.




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Notes

On the wedding day bride's father hands a note to the groom... Which read.."Goods once delivered will not be taken back"

Groom gives a note to the father of the bride that read.... "Guarantee void if seal is broken"

My Husband is like a...

Three women were talking about their love lives.

The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce, smooth and sophisticated."

The second said, "Mine is like a Porsche, fast and powerful."

The third said, "Mine is like an old Chevy. It needs a hand start and I have to jump on while it's still going."

Teacher bride

Once a father of three daughter asked a man to marry with any of his daughter. The elder daughter was a teacher, second was a nurse and younger was a telephone operator. The boy met with all girls and decided to marry with elder one.

His friend asked him that "why you have decided to marry with elder one and not younger one ?" The boy replied that look dear, the telephone operator has always a habbit to say, "Please wait, you are in a queue." The nurse has always a hibbit to say, "Relaxe dear, you will be allright", but the teacher has always a habbit to say "REPEATE, REPEATE, REPEATE........"

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