A young girl sees her grandfather in the shower and asks him, "What are those between your legs?"

"Those are the apples of the tree of life," he tells her, by way of poetic concealment.

Impressed, the girl then tells this to her grandmother, who replies, "Did he mention anything about that dead branch they're hanging from?"

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3 Questions

Q] What's the similarity between a toy train and a woman's breasts?
A] Both are meant for the child but the father plays with it.

Q] What's pink n hard when it goes in but soft n sticky when it comes out?
A] Chewing Gum!!

Q] What's the sexiest thing between a guy's legs?
A] His bike!!

Race car Driver

The racecar driver picked up a girl after a race, went home with her and took her to bed. He fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when she smacked him in the face.

"What's the matter! Didn't I satisfy you when we screwed?" he asked.

"It was after you fell asleep that got you into trouble," said the angry woman. "In your sleep, you felt my tits and mumbled, 'What perfect headlights'. Then you felt my thighs and murmured, 'What a smooth finish'."

"What's wrong with that?" asked the driver.

"Nothing, but then you felt my p**sy and yelled, 'Who the hell left the garage door open'?"

Me and my Sex!

I have a dog his name is "Sex" I don't know what got over me, when I named him but that's what I call him.

He's a great pal but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.

When I went to the city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex.

He said, "I'd like one too."

Then I said, "But this is a dog."

He said he didn't care what she looked like.

Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old."

He winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid."

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex.

He said, "You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill we don't care what you do." I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand, Sex keeps me awake at night."

The clerk said,"Funny -- I have the same problem."

One day I entered Sex in a dog contest, but before the competition began the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I
should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV."

"Now that is all over cable."

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog.

I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married."

The judge said, "The courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case, please." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me.

He said, "Me, too."

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex.

My case comes up Friday.

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