The Only One

The Only One

On their wedding night, Bruce displays his member to his new virgin bride and tells her it's the only one in the world. She, of course, believes him.

He's gone for a conference for a couple of weeks. He returns, only to be questioned by his new wife.

"Bruce," she says, "I thought you said you had the only one in the world. But Harry at the drug store has one too."

"Well, er," Bruce flusters, "Harry and I were in the war together, I had two, so I gave him one of mine."

"Oh. Well, why did you give him the better one?"

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A young girl sees her grandfather in the shower and asks him, "What are those between your legs?"

"Those are the apples of the tree of life," he tells her, by way of poetic concealment.

Impressed, the girl then tells this to her grandmother, who replies, "Did he mention anything about that dead branch they're hanging from?"

3 Questions

Q] What's the similarity between a toy train and a woman's breasts?
A] Both are meant for the child but the father plays with it.

Q] What's pink n hard when it goes in but soft n sticky when it comes out?
A] Chewing Gum!!

Q] What's the sexiest thing between a guy's legs?
A] His bike!!

Race car Driver

The racecar driver picked up a girl after a race, went home with her and took her to bed. He fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when she smacked him in the face.

"What's the matter! Didn't I satisfy you when we screwed?" he asked.

"It was after you fell asleep that got you into trouble," said the angry woman. "In your sleep, you felt my tits and mumbled, 'What perfect headlights'. Then you felt my thighs and murmured, 'What a smooth finish'."

"What's wrong with that?" asked the driver.

"Nothing, but then you felt my p**sy and yelled, 'Who the hell left the garage door open'?"

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