Nursing home

Nursing home

A son was placing his father into a nursing home.

"Please don't put me in there son!" cried the old man. The son said, "Pop, I can't take care of you & work too. I've checked the place out & it is the best one there is. I think you'll love it."

The next day the father called his son and said, "Son, you were right! I LOVE this place it is so great here. Thank you so much for making the decision!"

"That's well dad," said the son. "What makes it so great?"

"Well" replied the dad, "Last night I was in my room & from out of nowhere, I got an erection. A nurse came in, saw me and gave me a blowjob! I haven't had one of those in 30 or 40 years! I'd almost forgotten what it was like! It was fantastic!"

"That's great dad," said the son and left him.

A few days later the father called his son again and said "You have to get me out of here! I hate this place! I can't live here any more!"

"What's wrong pop?" asked the son.

"Last night I fell down in the hallway. I was getting up & when I was on my hands and knees, a male nurse came along and sodomized me! I CAN NOT and WILL NOT live like this!"

The son said, "Dad, I know that's terrible and we'll get it straightened out, but until then, you have to understand, we have to take the good with the bad. Just hang in there".

"No son" said the dad. "You don't understand! I get an erection maybe once a year! I fall down two or three times a day!!!!!"

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No more shake

Little Johnny was in trouble again.....He was charged with the rape of a grown woman, and all though the crime seemed highly improbable, the state's evidence was overwhelming.

As a last desperate move, the defense counsel came over to the witness stand, pulled down Little Johnny's pants, and grabbed the boy's tiny organ for all to see.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the lawyer cried turning toward the jury box, "surely you cannot believe that such a small still undeveloped organ is sexually mature?" Growing more agitated he went on, "How could this miniature member be capable even of erection, let alone the rape of a fully grown woman."

"WATCH IT," yelped Little Johnny. "One more shake and you'll lose the case!"


Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says, "You know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with either of my hands.

By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. "By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem.

I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand" "So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?"

"Well," says the first, "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"

Medical test 4 marriage

A 90-year old man announces his intention to marry a woman of 30. He is persuaded to have a medical exam first.

"Everyone tells me I need a checkup to see if I'm sexually fit," he says to the doctor.

"O.K,." says the medic, "Let me see your sex organs."

So the old guy sticks out his tongue and his middle finger.

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