Feet go to heaven first

Feet go to heaven first

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. On this particular day, the teacher wanted to ask her class which part of the body went to heaven first. One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think your mind goes to heaven first because you have to have a mind in order to believe in God."

The teacher praises the little girl as a little boy raises his hand. He says, "I think your heart goes to heaven first because God is all about love." "Very good," said the teacher.

The teacher looked up and saw Little Johnny's hand up. "Oh no," she thought, "I'm not gonna like this "Little Johnny, which part of the body do you think goes to heaven first?"

Little Johnny thinks for a minute and says, "Your feet."

The teacher asked him why he thought your feet go to heaven first. He replied, "Well, I was walking past my parents' bedroom last night and my mom had her feet up in the air and she said, 'Oh God, I'm coming!', but fortunately Dad was on top of her holding her down."

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Wet Cat

A rooster and a cat were walking down the street. The sky turned dark and it began to rain. The sidewalk soon became very slick and full of puddles.

Sure enough, the cat slipped and fell into one of the puddles. The rooster did all he could to keep from laughing at the cat, but he became hysterical, nonetheless, laughing long and loud.

The moral of the story: Wherever there's a wet pussy, there's sure to be a happy cock nearby!

Nursing home

A son was placing his father into a nursing home.

"Please don't put me in there son!" cried the old man. The son said, "Pop, I can't take care of you & work too. I've checked the place out & it is the best one there is. I think you'll love it."

The next day the father called his son and said, "Son, you were right! I LOVE this place it is so great here. Thank you so much for making the decision!"

"That's well dad," said the son. "What makes it so great?"

"Well" replied the dad, "Last night I was in my room & from out of nowhere, I got an erection. A nurse came in, saw me and gave me a blowjob! I haven't had one of those in 30 or 40 years! I'd almost forgotten what it was like! It was fantastic!"

"That's great dad," said the son and left him.

A few days later the father called his son again and said "You have to get me out of here! I hate this place! I can't live here any more!"

"What's wrong pop?" asked the son.

"Last night I fell down in the hallway. I was getting up & when I was on my hands and knees, a male nurse came along and sodomized me! I CAN NOT and WILL NOT live like this!"

The son said, "Dad, I know that's terrible and we'll get it straightened out, but until then, you have to understand, we have to take the good with the bad. Just hang in there".

"No son" said the dad. "You don't understand! I get an erection maybe once a year! I fall down two or three times a day!!!!!"

No more shake

Little Johnny was in trouble again.....He was charged with the rape of a grown woman, and all though the crime seemed highly improbable, the state's evidence was overwhelming.

As a last desperate move, the defense counsel came over to the witness stand, pulled down Little Johnny's pants, and grabbed the boy's tiny organ for all to see.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the lawyer cried turning toward the jury box, "surely you cannot believe that such a small still undeveloped organ is sexually mature?" Growing more agitated he went on, "How could this miniature member be capable even of erection, let alone the rape of a fully grown woman."

"WATCH IT," yelped Little Johnny. "One more shake and you'll lose the case!"

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