Treatment of baldness
A man went to a doctor to treat his baldness. The man didn't had a single hair on his head. The doctor told him there are three ways before you.
1. Try acupuncture...It will be painful and I can't guarantee you 100% satisfaction.
2. Try Homoeopathy...That too may not work for this 'great head'.
3. This method is the surest one...Apply female secretions on your head, definitely you will get rid of your problem."
Satisfied, he was about to go and then he noticed that the doctor is also having a 'mirror head'.
He asked the doc ,"why don't you try this method?"
Doctor snorted, "I may not have hair on my head, but can't you see that I am having a hell of moustache...!!!
More Medical Jokes
A man with a bad stomach complaint goes to his doctor and asks him what he can do. The doctor replies that the illness is quite serious but can be cured by inserting a suppository up his anal passage.
The man agrees, and so the doctor warns him of the pain, tells him to bend over and shoves the thing way up his behind. The doctor then hands him a second dose and tells him to do the same thing in six hours.
So, the man goes home and later that evening tries to get the second suppository inserted, but he finds that he cannot reach himself properly to obtain the required depth. He calls his wife over and tells her what to do. The wife nods, puts one hand on his shoulder to steady him and with the other shoves the medicine home.
Suddenly the man screams, "DAMN!"
"What's the matter?" asks the wife. "Did I hurt you?"
"No," replies the man, "but I just realized that when the doctor did that, he had BOTH hands on my shoulders!"
A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift.
"Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you'll have to come back in six months for a follow- up."
"Oh, no." the woman replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I don't want to have to come back."
The doctor thinks for a second, then offers: "There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up, and they disappear."
"That's what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let's do that."
Six months later the lady charges into the doctor's office.
"Well, how's the procedure holding up?" the doctor asks.
"Terrible!" the lady bellows. " It's the worst mistake I've ever made.
"What's wrong?" asks the doctor.
"Just look at these bags under my eyes!" she hollers.
"Lady," the doctor retorts, "those aren't bags, those are your breasts!!! And if you don't leave that screw alone, you're going to have a beard!"
Wife goes to a doc and asks crys out for help."doc, doc..my husband is 300% impotent"
Doc says" I don't understand 300%?"
Wife says "u know about the first 100%, now he!s gone and cut his finger and burnt his tongue!