Chicken sandwiches

Chicken sandwiches

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day!

This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich. He said, " Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?"

She said, " I love it but I have to stop eating it."

"Why?" he asked.

She pointed to her lap and said "Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!"

"Let me see" he said. "Okay" and she pulled up her skirt. He looked and said, "That's right you are, better not eat any more chicken."

He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said to the little! girl, "I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!"

She asked if she could look so he pulled down his pants for her. She said "Oh, my God, it! 's! too late for you, you've already got the neck and the gizzards!!

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The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: She's having triplets.
Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.

Good: Your wife is not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Ugly: She's a lawyer.

Good: Your son is finally maturing.
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
Ugly: So are you.

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several pornographic movies hidden there.
Ugly: You're in them.

Good: Your son understands fashion.
Bad: He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than your wife.

Good: Your daughter got a new job.
Bad: As a hooker.
Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do.

Dark In Here

A mother is having sex with her lover. Her son comes in, so she locks him in the closet. Shortly thereafter she hears her husband come home. She immediately locks her lover also in the closet.

"Dark in here," the boy says to his mother's love.

"Yeah," the man replies.

"I have a baseball here. Do you want it? It costs only 250 bucks," says the boy.

The man thought what the hell and paid up.

Next night the boy is again locked in the closet with the lover.

"Dark in here," the boy says.

"Yeah," the man replies.

"Do you want a baseball glove?" the boy asks.

The man bought it for 750 bucks.

The next day the father says, "Son, lets go to play baseball!"

The boy replies, "I sold my baseball and glove for a 1000 bucks!"

The father becomes upset and says, "You should not overcharge your friends like that. I'm going to take you to the Confessional."

His father drops him off at the Confessional.

"Dark in here," the boy says.

"Oh, for heavens sake, don't start that again," says the priest!

The Priest & His Cock

The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chickens he kept in the hen house out behind the parish manse. He had a cock rooster and about ten hens.

One Saturday night the cock rooster went missing, and because the priest had heard that cock fights occurred in the village, he decided to question his parishioners about it at church the next morning.

At Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?"

All the men stood up.

"No, No, " he said, "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?"

All the women stood up.

"No, No", he said, "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?"

Half the women stood up.

"No, No", he said, "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?"

All the nuns, and the two priests stood up.

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