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Pick up chicks

Pick up chicks

There was a chicken and a horse playing together in a barn yard, suddenly the horse falls into a pit. He yells to the chicken, "Go get the farmer, save me, save me!!!".

The chicken goes looking for the farmer but can't find him. So she gets the farmer's BMW and drives it over to the mud pit, lassoes the horse, ties it to the car and pulls him out. The horse says, "Thank you, Thank you, I owe you my life.

Then a couple of days later, they are playing there again and this time the chicken falls into the mud. And the chicken says, "Help me!!! Help me!!! Go get the farmer! ! ! ". The horse says, "No No No, I think I can get you"

The horse stretches across the mud pit and tells the chicken, "Grab onto my penis"

The chicken grabs on, the horse stretches back, and the horse saves the chicken's life.

So what's the moral of the story???
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"If you have a penis the size of a horse you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks!"




More Sexy Jokes

Chicken sandwiches

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day!

This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich. He said, " Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?"

She said, " I love it but I have to stop eating it."

"Why?" he asked.

She pointed to her lap and said "Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!"

"Let me see" he said. "Okay" and she pulled up her skirt. He looked and said, "That's right you are, better not eat any more chicken."

He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said to the little! girl, "I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!"

She asked if she could look so he pulled down his pants for her. She said "Oh, my God, it! 's! too late for you, you've already got the neck and the gizzards!!

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: She's having triplets.
Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.

Good: Your wife is not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Ugly: She's a lawyer.

Good: Your son is finally maturing.
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
Ugly: So are you.

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several pornographic movies hidden there.
Ugly: You're in them.

Good: Your son understands fashion.
Bad: He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than your wife.

Good: Your daughter got a new job.
Bad: As a hooker.
Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do.

Dark In Here

A mother is having sex with her lover. Her son comes in, so she locks him in the closet. Shortly thereafter she hears her husband come home. She immediately locks her lover also in the closet.

"Dark in here," the boy says to his mother's love.

"Yeah," the man replies.

"I have a baseball here. Do you want it? It costs only 250 bucks," says the boy.

The man thought what the hell and paid up.

Next night the boy is again locked in the closet with the lover.

"Dark in here," the boy says.

"Yeah," the man replies.

"Do you want a baseball glove?" the boy asks.

The man bought it for 750 bucks.

The next day the father says, "Son, lets go to play baseball!"

The boy replies, "I sold my baseball and glove for a 1000 bucks!"

The father becomes upset and says, "You should not overcharge your friends like that. I'm going to take you to the Confessional."

His father drops him off at the Confessional.

"Dark in here," the boy says.

"Oh, for heavens sake, don't start that again," says the priest!

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