Free Sex

A man is driving down the freeway when he sees a sign that says, "Get gas and free sex here". So obviously the guy was interested, so he stopped, filled up went inside to pay.

"Pick a number from 1 - 10 to get free sex." said the cashier.

"Uh, okay, 3!" the man replied.

"Nope! Sorry play again".

So the guy drove around for weeks always getting gas at the same place, because he wanted his free sex. One day he was really ticked:

"This has got to be rigged! I have never gotten the number to have free sex!" He screamed.

"Oh no! It's not rigged, just ask your wife, she won 3 times last week alone!"




More Sexy Jokes

Poem on sex

This is a poem on sex

I said 1,
she said come.

I said 2,
she said do.

I said 3,
she was open and free

I said 4,
her pantees were on the floor

I said 5,
her bush was like a bee hive

I said 6 ,
it was fixed

I said 7
she was in heaven

I said 8
we were infront of the hospital gate

I said 9
the baby was fine

I said 10
she said come again

Pick up chicks

There was a chicken and a horse playing together in a barn yard, suddenly the horse falls into a pit. He yells to the chicken, "Go get the farmer, save me, save me!!!".

The chicken goes looking for the farmer but can't find him. So she gets the farmer's BMW and drives it over to the mud pit, lassoes the horse, ties it to the car and pulls him out. The horse says, "Thank you, Thank you, I owe you my life.

Then a couple of days later, they are playing there again and this time the chicken falls into the mud. And the chicken says, "Help me!!! Help me!!! Go get the farmer! ! ! ". The horse says, "No No No, I think I can get you"

The horse stretches across the mud pit and tells the chicken, "Grab onto my penis"

The chicken grabs on, the horse stretches back, and the horse saves the chicken's life.

So what's the moral of the story???
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"If you have a penis the size of a horse you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks!"

Chicken sandwiches

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day!

This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich. He said, " Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?"

She said, " I love it but I have to stop eating it."

"Why?" he asked.

She pointed to her lap and said "Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!"

"Let me see" he said. "Okay" and she pulled up her skirt. He looked and said, "That's right you are, better not eat any more chicken."

He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said to the little! girl, "I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!"

She asked if she could look so he pulled down his pants for her. She said "Oh, my God, it! 's! too late for you, you've already got the neck and the gizzards!!

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