I Love You

I Love You

I Love You

Man always say "I LOVE YOU" to girls but do you know the true meaning of this?






"Y"ou must take

"O"ff your


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A guy with a huge dick has a lot of trouble trying to get a girl. When they see the size of his pecker they make their excuses and leave. So he thinks of a cunning plan, meets a hooker and asks her, "Do you mind if we do it my way?"

"What way is that?" she asks.

"Oh, I would just like you to wear a blindfold" he replies.

"Is that all? No problem - let's go to my place," she answers.

They walk the short distance to her apartment. Whilst taking off their clothes he puts the blindfold on her.

"Why do you want me to wear a blindfold?" she asks.

"Because of my religion" he answers.

"What religion is that?" she asks.

"I'm an agnostic," he says, getting on top of her.

"Hmmm - an agnostic - I've heard of those - you're one of those people who doesn't believe in.......JESUS CHRIST!

Family Planning

In 1983, China launched an extensive 12 month program that was carefully designed to teach the fundamentals of birth control to the rural populace. Doctors and nurses were televised demonstrating the use of condoms and birth control pills. The people were encouraged to faithfully practice these techniques.

The following year, the program was declared a complete failure; the birth rate had actually increased.

The experts were puzzled, until a survey was conducted. The survey revealed that most of the rural Chinese people were faithfully following the birth control techniques; 79% of the men were taking the pill every day, and 98% of them were carefully putting a condom on their index fingers before sex - just as demonstrated on TV.

Revolver or Watch?

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying, so he calls his grandson to his bed.

"Grandson, I wanna you lissin to me. I wanna for you to take my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns, ... how about leaving me your Rolex watch instead, the grandson insisted."

The grandpa on hearing this gets a bit pissed and says "You lissin to me. Somma day you gonna be runna da bussiness, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big home and maybe a couple of bambini. Am I right?"

"Yes grandpa, I guess so."

"Ok, so soma day you gonna coma home and maybe finda you wife in bed with another man. Whada you gonna do then? Pointa to da watch and say, ... TIMES UP!"

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