The Husband

The Husband

There was a married couple in their living room, watching television. Suddenly the guy gets the urge to give some hot oral love to his wife. "Hey, baby," he says, "How 'bout I take you to the bedroom and get naughty south of the border?"

"No..." she replies, "I'm having my period."

"I don't care let's do it anyway," said her amorous husband.

"Ewww... Yet, okay," she says, "But what if someone comes to the door?"

"I'll just tell them I was eating a jelly sandwich and that I'm a messy guy." She agrees.

So they go in the room and he's going to town and she's loving it when all of the sudden the doorbell rings. The guy looks up, and he decides to leave it. The door bell rings again, and a third time. The man finally gets up and goes to open the door and it's their mailman.

"I have a package for you," the mail carrier says looking at the guy in a weird way.

"Okay, I'll sign for it," replies the husband.

"What's the matter with your face?" The mail carrier boldly asks.

"I was eating a jelly sandwich," the guy replies.

The mail carrier then smiles and says... "Yeah? Well, just to let you know you've also got some peanut butter on your nose."

More Sexy Jokes



AIDS : Ass infected don't screw

ARAB : After Rape Apply Balm

AFRICA : After **** Rest In Cool Air

AMERICA : All Men Enjoy Raping In Cool Atmosphere

ADIDAS : All Day I Dream About Sex

BOMBAY : Both Of My Balls Are Yours

CAPSTAN : Can a prick stand thrice at night

CUBA : Caught Under Bra Area

GERMANY : Girls Even Rape Men At New York

PUNE : Please Use Nirodh Everyday

JAPAN : Jumping And Pumping All Night

LIMCA : Love In Mid-night is Cause of Abortion

PARIS : Please Allow Rape In School

RUSSIA : Rape Until She Screams In Agony

PUMA : Press Until Milk Arrives

ROME : Rape On Morning & Evening

HOLLAND : Hope Our Love Lives And Never Dies

USA : Under Skirt Activities (or AREA)

BITCH : Beautiful Indian Teenagers Causing Heartbreaks

PIG : Pretty Indian Girls

PIA : Pain In Ass

WIFE : Wonderful Instrument For **** & Entertainment

FEMALES : For Entertaining MALES

Bee Bite!

A guy and his girlfriend enter a theatre.

The girl is wearing a micro mini skirt. There was a bee around, the buzz of a bee can be heard and after the movie starts, the bee gets into her skirt.

What does it bite? (Scroll down for the answer)

The guy's hand!

Hot Sister - A True story!

I was happy, My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house.

I walked straight towards my car, My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter.

Welcome to the family.

"The moral of this story is:"

"Always keep your condoms in your car."

Show More Sexy Jokes