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The Nudist Colony

The Nudist Colony

Eli joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day, he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around.

A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says, "Sir, did you call for me?"

Eli replies, "No, what do you mean?"

She says, "You must be new here; let me explain. It's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me."

Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him toward her, and happily lets him have his way with her.

Eli continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down and farts. Within a few seconds, a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam toward him.

The huge man says, "Sir, did you call for me?"

Eli replies, "No, what do you mean?"

"You must be new here; it is a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me." The huge man easily spins Eli around and has his way with him.

Eli rushes back to the colony office. He is greeted by the smiling naked receptionist: "May I help you?"

Eli says, "Here is your card and key back. You can keep the $500 enrollment fee."

The receptionist says, "But sir, you've only been here a couple of hours; you only saw a small fraction of our facilities..."

Eli replies, "Listen lady, I am 58 years old, I get a errection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. No thanks."




More Sexy Jokes

The Husband

There was a married couple in their living room, watching television. Suddenly the guy gets the urge to give some hot oral love to his wife. "Hey, baby," he says, "How 'bout I take you to the bedroom and get naughty south of the border?"

"No..." she replies, "I'm having my period."

"I don't care let's do it anyway," said her amorous husband.

"Ewww... Yet, okay," she says, "But what if someone comes to the door?"

"I'll just tell them I was eating a jelly sandwich and that I'm a messy guy." She agrees.

So they go in the room and he's going to town and she's loving it when all of the sudden the doorbell rings. The guy looks up, and he decides to leave it. The door bell rings again, and a third time. The man finally gets up and goes to open the door and it's their mailman.

"I have a package for you," the mail carrier says looking at the guy in a weird way.

"Okay, I'll sign for it," replies the husband.

"What's the matter with your face?" The mail carrier boldly asks.

"I was eating a jelly sandwich," the guy replies.

The mail carrier then smiles and says... "Yeah? Well, just to let you know you've also got some peanut butter on your nose."

DEFINATIONS

WORLD CLASS DEFINATIONS

AIDS : Ass infected don't screw

ARAB : After Rape Apply Balm

AFRICA : After **** Rest In Cool Air

AMERICA : All Men Enjoy Raping In Cool Atmosphere

ADIDAS : All Day I Dream About Sex

BOMBAY : Both Of My Balls Are Yours

CAPSTAN : Can a prick stand thrice at night

CUBA : Caught Under Bra Area

GERMANY : Girls Even Rape Men At New York

PUNE : Please Use Nirodh Everyday

JAPAN : Jumping And Pumping All Night

LIMCA : Love In Mid-night is Cause of Abortion

PARIS : Please Allow Rape In School

RUSSIA : Rape Until She Screams In Agony

PUMA : Press Until Milk Arrives

ROME : Rape On Morning & Evening

HOLLAND : Hope Our Love Lives And Never Dies

USA : Under Skirt Activities (or AREA)

BITCH : Beautiful Indian Teenagers Causing Heartbreaks

PIG : Pretty Indian Girls

PIA : Pain In Ass

WIFE : Wonderful Instrument For **** & Entertainment

FEMALES : For Entertaining MALES

Bee Bite!

A guy and his girlfriend enter a theatre.

The girl is wearing a micro mini skirt. There was a bee around, the buzz of a bee can be heard and after the movie starts, the bee gets into her skirt.

What does it bite? (Scroll down for the answer)
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The guy's hand!

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