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Why Men are Fatter

Why Men are Fatter

Q:) Why are men fatter then women?

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Coz men get milk and 2 papayas whereas women get a banana and a spoon of white liquid!




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Success (Suck Cess)

A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. "Screw me or climb the ladder to success," she said.

No contest, thought the man, so he climbed the ladder to the next cloud. On this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, slightly easier on the eye. "Screw me hard, or climb the ladder to success," she said. "Well," thought the man, "might as well carry on."

On the next cloud was an even more attractive lady who, this time, was actually quite desirable. "Screw me now or climb the ladder to success" she said. As he turned her down and went on up the ladder, the man thought to himself that this was getting better the further he went.

On the next cloud was an absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, the lot. "Love me hard and long or climb the ladder to success" she flirted.

Unable to imagine what could be waiting, and being a gambling man, he decided to climb again. When he reached the next cloud, there was a 400 pound ugly man, arm pit hair showing, flies buzzing around his head.

"Who are you?" the man asked.

"Hello," the ugly fat man said. "My name's Cess!"

The Nudist Colony

Eli joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day, he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around.

A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says, "Sir, did you call for me?"

Eli replies, "No, what do you mean?"

She says, "You must be new here; let me explain. It's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me."

Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him toward her, and happily lets him have his way with her.

Eli continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down and farts. Within a few seconds, a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam toward him.

The huge man says, "Sir, did you call for me?"

Eli replies, "No, what do you mean?"

"You must be new here; it is a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me." The huge man easily spins Eli around and has his way with him.

Eli rushes back to the colony office. He is greeted by the smiling naked receptionist: "May I help you?"

Eli says, "Here is your card and key back. You can keep the $500 enrollment fee."

The receptionist says, "But sir, you've only been here a couple of hours; you only saw a small fraction of our facilities..."

Eli replies, "Listen lady, I am 58 years old, I get a errection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. No thanks."

The Husband

There was a married couple in their living room, watching television. Suddenly the guy gets the urge to give some hot oral love to his wife. "Hey, baby," he says, "How 'bout I take you to the bedroom and get naughty south of the border?"

"No..." she replies, "I'm having my period."

"I don't care let's do it anyway," said her amorous husband.

"Ewww... Yet, okay," she says, "But what if someone comes to the door?"

"I'll just tell them I was eating a jelly sandwich and that I'm a messy guy." She agrees.

So they go in the room and he's going to town and she's loving it when all of the sudden the doorbell rings. The guy looks up, and he decides to leave it. The door bell rings again, and a third time. The man finally gets up and goes to open the door and it's their mailman.

"I have a package for you," the mail carrier says looking at the guy in a weird way.

"Okay, I'll sign for it," replies the husband.

"What's the matter with your face?" The mail carrier boldly asks.

"I was eating a jelly sandwich," the guy replies.

The mail carrier then smiles and says... "Yeah? Well, just to let you know you've also got some peanut butter on your nose."

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