Choice

A nerdy accountant is sent to jail for embezzlement and they put him in a cell with a huge evil looking guy.

The big guy says, "I want to have some sex. You wanna be the husband or the wife?"

The accountant replies, "Well, if I have to be one or the other, I guess I'd rather be the husband."

The big guy says, "Okay. Now get over here and suck your wife's dick."




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Mother Nature

There were these two best friends out playing golf one beautiful day. After hitting their tee shots, both noticed that neither was even close to the fairway. One friend hit it way left, the other way right.

They decided that since the shots were so bad, they'd just meet up at the hole.

So the first guy went off and looked and looked and finally found his ball sitting down deep in a field of beautiful Buttercups. He promptly pulled out his 7 iron and started whacking away. Buttercups were flying everywhere, but the ball wouldn't come out.

Well, finally Mother Nature got mad.

She came up from the ground and said to the man, "I've created this beautiful field of Buttercups and you have no respect for them at all, now they are ruined. I'm going to have to punish you. Since these are Buttercups, your punishment is that you cannot have butter for a year."

The man started to laugh and went back to whacking at the Buttercups.

Mother Nature said, "Hey, this is no laughing matter. What do you find so funny?"

The man looked up and said, "My buddy is over on the other side in the Pussywillows."

Difference

What is the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when the wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant
and panic is when both ARE!!

Prepaid SEX

How to use Prepaid SEX?

1)scratch the Protective Panty.
2)Press nipples.
3)Enter Your Penis?
4)A voice will confirm if the entry is ok.

AAH-OOH card Accepted

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