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Headaches

Headaches

Two old guys were sitting in the park, talking, when the subject turned to getting older. The first guy said "Women have all the luck when it comes to getting older."

"What do you mean?" asked the second guy.

"Well," replied the first. "I can barely remember the last time I got aroused in bed, but my wife is healthier than ever!"

"Healthier? How is that?" his buddy wondered.

"Years ago, when we were younger, almost every night before bed she'd get these terrible headaches." he answered. "Now that we're older, she hasn't had a headache in years."




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Hurricane Gussy

One day a man walks into a whore house. He goes to the pimp and says, "I want something different."

The pimp says "Well, we have one girl that loves to take it up the ass."

"No, that's too common. I want something different."

"Well, have you ever tried a Hurricane Gussy?"

"I'll be damned, that is different. I'll try that."

The man goes up to the room and takes off his clothes. A minute later a huge Amazon type women comes in. She starts jumping up and down, blowing as hard as she can. The man says, "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm Hurricane Gussy and that is the wind coming from the Hurricane." "OK, I'll buy that."

Then she starts beating him over the head with her breasts. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Those are the coconuts nuts falling off the tree hittin' you on the head."

The man says alright. Then she stands over top of him and starts pissing all over him. "What the hell are you doing?!!"

"Those are the warm rains coming from the hurricane."

The man gets up and starts to put on his clothes. Gussy says, "Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving!! Who can fuck in this weather?!"

3 Questions

Three nuns die and are met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. "Before you enter, you must answer a skilled question." said St.Peter. The nuns agree and St. Peter begins by asking the first nun, "Who was the first man on earth?"

"Oh , thats an easy one, that was Adam!" said the nun. With her answer the gates opened, the lights came on, and the nun walked up the stairs.

St.Peter asked the second nun, "Who was the first women on earth?"

"Oh, that's an easy one, that was Eve!" said the second nun. With her answer the gates opened, the lights came on, and the nun walked up the stairs.

St.Peter asked the third and final nun, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"

The nun thought about the question for a long time, finally she shakes her head and replies, "That's a hard one".

And the gates opened, the lights came on....

Christmas Shopping

A rich man and a poor man were Christmas shopping for their wives. The poor man asked the rich man what he was getting his wife.

"I'm getting her a mink coat and a Porche. I figure if she doesn't like the mink coat, she'll like the Porche.

What about you?".

The poor man replied "I'm getting her a pair of slippers and a dildo. I figure that if she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself."

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