Best Sex

This couple have just met in a bar, really hit it off and gone back to her place to have wild, passionate sex.

After they have finished he lies back with a smug look on his face, "I guess that was just about the best sex you have ever had," he says.

"What makes you say that?" asks the woman.

"Well, every time we did it, I couldn't help notice how it made your toes curl," he explains.

"Oh," says the woman, "that was just because most men wait to take off my pantyhose first."




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No worth

An Egyptian man is walking through the Cairo bazaar, when a stranger comes up to him and offers to sell Viagra (illegal in Egypt) for 100 Egyptian pounds.

"No, not worth it!"

"OK, how about 50 Egyptian pounds?"

"No, not worth it!"

"OK, 20?"

"No, not worth it!"

"How about 10?"

"No, not worth it!"

"Listen, these pills cost US $10 each. How can you say they are not worth it?"

"Oh, the pills ARE worth it. My wife is not worth it."

Headaches

Two old guys were sitting in the park, talking, when the subject turned to getting older. The first guy said "Women have all the luck when it comes to getting older."

"What do you mean?" asked the second guy.

"Well," replied the first. "I can barely remember the last time I got aroused in bed, but my wife is healthier than ever!"

"Healthier? How is that?" his buddy wondered.

"Years ago, when we were younger, almost every night before bed she'd get these terrible headaches." he answered. "Now that we're older, she hasn't had a headache in years."

Hurricane Gussy

One day a man walks into a whore house. He goes to the pimp and says, "I want something different."

The pimp says "Well, we have one girl that loves to take it up the ass."

"No, that's too common. I want something different."

"Well, have you ever tried a Hurricane Gussy?"

"I'll be damned, that is different. I'll try that."

The man goes up to the room and takes off his clothes. A minute later a huge Amazon type women comes in. She starts jumping up and down, blowing as hard as she can. The man says, "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm Hurricane Gussy and that is the wind coming from the Hurricane." "OK, I'll buy that."

Then she starts beating him over the head with her breasts. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Those are the coconuts nuts falling off the tree hittin' you on the head."

The man says alright. Then she stands over top of him and starts pissing all over him. "What the hell are you doing?!!"

"Those are the warm rains coming from the hurricane."

The man gets up and starts to put on his clothes. Gussy says, "Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving!! Who can fuck in this weather?!"

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