A father came home and asked where his son was. His wife replied that he was downstairs playing with his new chemistry set. The father was curious, so he wandered downstairs to see what his son was doing. As he walked down the steps, he heard a banging sound. When he got to the bottom he saw his son pounding a nail into the wall. He aid to his son, "What are you doing? I thought you were playing with your chemistry set. Why are you hammering a nail into the wall?"

His son replied, "This isn't a nail, Dad, it's a worm. I put these chemicals on it and it became as hard as a rock."

His dad thought about it for a minute and said, "I'll tell you what, Son, give me those chemicals and I'll give you a new Volkswagen."

His son quite naturally said, "Sure why not."

The next day his son went into the garage to see his new car. Parked in the garage was a brand new Mercedes. Just then his dad walked in. He asked his father where his Volkswagen was. His dad replied, "It's right there behind the Mercedes. By the way, the Mercedes is from your mother."

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Enough juice

At 85 years, Morris marries a lovely 25 year old woman. Because her new husband is so old the woman decides that on their wedding night they should have separate bedrooms.

She is concerned that the old fellow could overexert himself. After the wedding festivities she prepares herself for bed and for the knock on the door she is expecting.

Sure enough the knock comes and there is her groom ready for action. They unite in conjugal union and all goes well whereupon he takes his leave of her and she prepares to go to sleep for the night.

After a few minutes there's a knock on the door and there old Morris is again ready for more action. Somewhat surprised she consents to further coupling which is again successful after which the octogenarian bids her a fond good night and leaves.

She is certainly ready for slumber at this point, and is close to sleep, for the second time when there is another knock at the door and there he is again fresh as a 25 year old and ready for more.

Once again they do the horizontal boogie. As they're laying in afterglow the young bride says to him, "I am really impressed that a man your age has enough juice to go at it three times. I've been with guys less than half your age who were only good for one time. You're a great lover Morris."

Morris looks confused, and turns to her and says," I was here already?"

Little action

Jon was looking for a little "action." He picked up a sweet young thing at the bar and took her back to his hotel room. Little did he know that she was darn near a nymphomaniac.

After six times having sex, she was screaming for more. After the eighth time, Jon told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of cigarettes.

On the way out, he stopped into the men's room. He stood in front of the urinal, unzipped his pants, and felt a moment of panic when he couldn't find "it."

After a couple of minutes fishing around, he finally said, "Look, it's okay. She's not here!"

Making love with midget

A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall, but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks, the two went back to the tall woman's apartment.

"I can't imagine what it will be like making love to a midget," said the woman, "especially with the size difference and all."

"Just take off your clothes, lie back on the bed, spread your legs, and close your eyes," said the midget.

The woman did as she was told, and soon she felt the biggest thing she had ever experienced inside her. Within a few minutes, the woman had climaxed eight times.

"If you think was good," said the midget with a smirk, "just wait till I get BOTH legs in there!"

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