Two high-school buddies were attending the senior prom.

"Suzy wants to go out to my car. She's really hot," one boy said. "I'm really nervous. I know I'll goof up!"

"Take it easy," his friend assured him. "All you gotta do is compliment her. Chicks love to be complimented. You'll have her in the palm of your hand."

About a half-hour later the young man came back, rubbing a black eye.

"Shit, man! What happened to you?!" his buddy asked.

"I took your advice."

"Didn't you compliment her?"

"Sure I did. We got in my car and started kissing. I told her that for such full lips, hers sure tasted sweet. She liked that. After a while I started feeling her tits, and I told her that for such large breasts they sure were firm. She like that too."

"It sounds like you were doing great," his friend said.

"Well," the other answered, "that's when everything went wrong. I got her dress up and her panties off, and I tried to think of another compliment."

"What did you say?"

"For such a large crack, it doesn't stink much."

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Sex Education

Three boys received their grades from their female sex education instructor. One got a D+, the second a D- and the third an F. "One day we should get her for this," said the first boy. "

I agree. We'll grab her..." said the second.

"Yeah," said the third. "And then we'll kick her in the nuts!"

Pickle Slicer

There was a man who had worked his whole life in a pickle factory. One day he came home and told his wife that he had been fired from his job. She began to scream and yell, "You have given them twenty years of devoted service. Why did they fire you?"

"For twenty years I've wanted to stick my pecker in the pickle slicer," he explained, "and today I finally did it!"

The wife ran over and pulled his pants down to see what damage had been done. "You look okay," she said with a sigh of relief. "So what happened to the pickle slicer?"

"Well," he said with hesitation, "they fired her, too."

3 Guys

Three guys are walking down the street one day, when they come on a whore house. They decide to go inside.

When they get to the counter, the lady says, "It's $5 for sex."

The first man turns to his buddies and says, "Do ya'll have any money?" They say no, so he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a dime. He tells the lady that all he has is a dime.

She says, "We'll fix you up."

She takes him to a room and 20 minutes later he comes back out. His buddies ask him what happened. He says that the lady put whipped cream on his dick and licked it off with her tongue.

The second man says, "I got 15 cents. I wonder what I can get." He gives it to the lady, and she takes him back to the same room. He comes out 30 minutes later, and his buddies ask him what happened.

He says, "She put whipped cream on my dick and then poured hot fudge on top of that and licked it off."

The third guy says, "I got a quarter, so I'm gonna see what I can get." The lady takes him back to the room, and 10 minutes later he comes out limping. His buddies look at him and ask what happened.

He says, "She put whipped cream and hot fudge on my dick, and to top it off, she put a cherry...It looked so good I ate it my self."

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