Dear God

Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy? If you can't make me sexy, please make all my friends fat. Amen.

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Son on his honeymoon

Son on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what 2 do.

MOM: Put ur biggest thing on her hairiest thing.

SON: got my nose in her armpit. Now what?

Do u talk to your wife

A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex?

His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.

Man says to his wife

Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, then I can always look at them.

Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.

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