Funny Jokes

An absolutely Brilliant Joke, ENJOY!!!

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times of it!" The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will floc to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM- She's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM- She's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like to have a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention
Female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
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The man had a heart attack ten times "milder" than his wife!!!
Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
You can forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humour.

Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything.

Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?"

Teacher: Write an essay on 'If I am a millionaire'
All students started writing
...except one boy

Teacher- Why don't you start writing?
Boy- I am waiting for my secretary!

John feared that his wife Anna wasn't hearing well. He called a Dr. who told him a simple test.

"Talk from 40 ft away in casual tone. If she doesn't hear u go to 30 ft then 20 ft & so on until u get a response"

In evening, Wife was in kitchen. He was in lounge. In normal tone he asks :

"Honey! wats 4 dinner? No Response.
He moves closer, about 30 ft but still no response.
Next he move to 20 ft. again no response!
So he walks up to the kitchen bout 10 ft. away.
Again no response ... !!!

So he walks up right behind her : "Anna ! wats 4 dinner???

"For God's sake John, for the 5th time am telling you "CHICKEN" "CHICKEN"

Medical & Engg. College principls argued that their students are fearless.
Medical college principal called the students & asked to jump in sea full of sharks.
They Jumped.
Principal said: "See the guts"
Engg. College principal called the students & told them to jump.
they said "Pagal hai kya Takle?"
Principal said:
"See the guts".

Gf giving house direction to her bf- "come to front gate of apartment" where I live
Look for flat 9A, U ll find a lift on your right,
with ur ELBOW hit 9 get out of the lift U ll find my flat on left
Hit doorbell with your ELBOW & I ll get d door 4u.

Bf says- Dear Dat seems easy but why am Hit all the buttons with my elbows.

Gf- OMG Baby u are not coming with Empty handed r u?

How to Identify Different Citizens of India:-

Scenario 1:
Two guys are fighting & a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on.
That's MUMBAI.

Scenario 2
Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out & call their friends on their mobiles.
Now 50 guys are fighting.
You are definitely in PUNJAB.

Senario 3
Two guys are fighting & a third guy comes along and tries to make peace. The first two get together and beat him up.
That's Rajasthan.

Scenario 4
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly opens a tea stall.
"Welcome To Delhi".. :)