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Lawyer Jokes

Lawyer Jokes

Lawyer Jokes or lawyer humor or Court Room Jokes is a kind of professional jokes focused on Lawyers and Judiciary. Lawyer Jokes might present lawyers as lacking in honesty, ethics or kindness. This is because most of the people believe that lawyers always keep their benefit in their mind and they can do any thing for this reason. This site also includes comments on Judiciary and Legal system within the lawyer jokes. We have a good collection of Funny Jokes on Lawyers. These jokes are original and best in its category. Hope you will enjoy these jokes. You can mail these lawyer jokes to your friends or someone you want. If you have some Lawyer Jokes please send your joke to us so that we will display your lawyer jokes on our website.

Lawyer Jokes
Talaak In Arrange Marriage
Talaak In Arrange Marriage

Q : Arrange marriage mein talaak kam kyon hote hain?
A : Jo apni marzi se shaadi nahi kar sakta woh saala talaak kya khaak lega.

Arrested for Laughing
Arrested for Laughing

Arrested for laughing

This is from an actual trial in the UK.

A young woman who was several months pregnant was sitting in a bus.

When she noticed a young man smiling at her, she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition.

She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on seeing him laughing more.

She filed a court case on him. In the court the man said to judge in his defense was:

When the lady boarded the bus, I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant.

She sat under an advertisement, which read "Coming Soon- The unknown boon"..

I was even more amused when she then sat under a shaving advertisement,

Which read:- "William's stick did the trick".. Then I could not control myself any longer,

When on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read: "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident"..

The case was dismissed.

The judge fell off his chair laughing!

Lawyers Instead of White Rats
Lawyers Instead of White Rats

National Institute of Health is starting to use lawyers instead of white rats in experiments for three reasons:
1. There are so many of them.
2. You don't get nearly as attached.
3. There are somethings that rats wont do.

Words in Court
Words in Court

ATTORNEY:  Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS:  No.
ATTORNEY:  Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS:  No.
ATTORNEY:  Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS:  No.
ATTORNEY:  So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS:  No.
ATTORNEY:  How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS:  Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY:  I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS:  Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Attorney vs Witness
Attorney vs Witness

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.


Three Children
Three Children

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honour, Can I get a new attorney?

An Example
An Example

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

In The Morning
In The Morning

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!






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