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Hindi Jokes Procedure To Follow Karna Padta Hai - Hindi Jokes
Bank mein customer ne cheque dete hue poochha ki "Madam yeh kitne dino mein clear ho jaayega"

Madam: Kam se kam do-teen din lagenge.

Customer: Lekin madam itna time kyon lagega? Jis bank ka cheque maine diya hai woh to saamne waali duilding mein hi hai.

Madam (Bade hi shaant swar mein) : Sir main aapko kaise samjhun, procedure to follow karna hi padta hai na. Maan leejiye ki aap shamshaan ke saamne hi mar jaate hain to ghar waale aapki laash ko ghar le jaayenge ya wahin saamne nipta denge. Boliye?
Customer behosh!
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Hindi Jokes Hindi Films - Hindi Jokes
हिन्दी फिल्मों में कुछ बेवकूफ़ियाँ!
कभी आपने सोचा है कि आपकी मनपसंद फिल्मों में भी कितनी छोटी- बड़ी बेवकूफियाँ की गई हैं। पढ़िए कुछ सुपरहिट फिल्मों की गलतियाँ

रा-वन:
फिल्म में शाहरुख दक्षिण भारतीय बने हैं, लेकिन जब उनकी मौत होती है तो उन्हें ईसाई परम्परा के अनुसार दफनाया जाता है, लेकिन बाद में हम देखते हैं कि उनकी अस्थियाँ पानी में बहाई जा रही हैं।
- हाँ भई, सभी को खुश रखना पड़ता है न!

अमर अकबर एंथोनी:
तीन लोग एक साथ एक ही महिला के लिए रक्तदान कर रहे हैं।
- अरे भई, साइंस इमोशन से बढ़कर थोड़े ही है!

लगान:
यह फिल्म 18वीं सदी की कहानी है और उस वक्त एक ओवर में 8 गेंदें हुआ करती थीं। लेकिन फिल्म में एक ओवर में 6 गेंदें दिखाई गई हैं।
- शायद 8 गेंदों से फिल्म और भी लंबी हो जाती !

बागबान:
अमिताभ बच्चन और हेमा मालिनी होली के तुरंत बाद 6 महीनों के लिए अलग हो जाते हैं यानि मार्च से लेकर सितंबर तक के लिए। लेकिन इन्हीं 6 महीनों में वे वेलेंटाइन-डे मना लेते हैं, जो फरवरी में आता है और करवाचौथ मनाते हैं, जो अक्सर अक्टूबर में पड़ता है।
- क्या करें वक्त कम था इमोशन ज्यादा!

क्रिश
फिल्म में ऋतिक दो साल के लिए विदेश जाते हैं, लेकिन इसी दौरान प्रीति गर्भवती हो जाती हैं।
- इस पर भईया नो कमेंट!

प्यार तो होना ही था
काजोल पब्लिक टॉयलेट यूज करने के लिए ट्रेन से एक स्टेशन पर उतरती हैं और उनकी ट्रेन छूट जाती है।
- बेचारी को शायद पता नहीं होगा कि ट्रेन के हर कंपार्टमेंट में चार टॉयलेट होते हैं!

शोले
जया बच्चन पूरी फिल्म में लालटेनें जलाती रहती है क्योंकि गांव में बिजली नहीं है। तो भई यह बताओ कि वीरूजिस टंकी पर चढ़कर आत्महत्या कर रहा था, उसमें बिना बिजली के पानी ठाकुर चढ़ाता था?
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Lawyer Jokes Arrested for Laughing - Lawyer Jokes
Arrested for laughing

This is from an actual trial in the UK.

A young woman who was several months pregnant was sitting in a bus.

When she noticed a young man smiling at her, she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition.

She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on seeing him laughing more.

She filed a court case on him. In the court the man said to judge in his defense was:

When the lady boarded the bus, I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant.

She sat under an advertisement, which read "Coming Soon- The unknown boon"..

I was even more amused when she then sat under a shaving advertisement,

Which read:- "William's stick did the trick".. Then I could not control myself any longer,

When on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read: "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident"..

The case was dismissed.

The judge fell off his chair laughing!
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Funny Jokes Presentation Does Matter - Funny Jokes
Two Wives chatting in office :

Wife 1 : I had a fine evening, how was yours?

Wife 2 : It was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 mins & fell asleep in 2 mins.

How was yours?

Wife 1 : Oh mine was amazing!

My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour.

When we came home he lit the candles around the house. It was like a fairy tale!

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work

Husband 1 : How was your evening?

Husband 2 : Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate & fell asleep.

And what about you?

Husband 1 : It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner, they cut the electricity because I forgot to pay the bill. So I took her out for dinner which was so expensive that didn't have money left for a cab or auto.

We walked home which took an hour & when we got home, I remembered there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house .

MORAL : PRESENTATION DOES MATTER......
NO MATTER WHAT THE REALITY IS
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Office Jokes Properly Fitting People - Office Jokes
Does your organization struggle with the problem of properly fitting people to jobs?

Here is a handy hint for ensuring success in job placement.

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs.

Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing.

If they have taken the table apart in that time, put them in Engineering.

If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Accounting.

If they are screaming and waving their arms, send them off to Manufacturing.

If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them.

If they are sleeping, they are Management material.

If they are writing up the experience, send them to Tech Pubs.

If they don't even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security.

If they try to tell you it's not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing.

And if they've left early, put them in Sales.
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