Jokes

Ek ladki Baba se: Baba mere do boy friends hain, Ramesh aur Suresh.
Bataiye meri kis-se shaadi hogi? Kaun hoga woh lucky aadmi?

Baba: Tumhari shaadi Ramesh se hogi aur Suresh lucky hoga.

Dil ke operation ko "by pass" kyun kehte hain?
Socho socho
.
.
.
.
.
.
Socho
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kyun ki agar operation theek ho gaya to pass, warna bye.

Mom: Son, get up its time to go to college.
Son: No Maa.. I don't want to go to college.
.
.
Mom: Give me 2 reasons why don't u want to go to college
Son: 1. All students hate me
2. All staff hates me..
.
.
Mom: Ooh! That's not a reason
C'mon, you must go to college
Son: Give me 2 reasons why I should go to college
.
.
Mom:" 1. U are not a kid, you are 47 years old
2. U are the Principal of the college
.
.
Moral: Sirf bachchon ka hi man nahin karta chhutti karne ka.

Ek secretary apne boss ke sath train trip pe ja rahi thi
Raat ko woh kaafi deir tak Boss ko apne kisse sunaati rahi

Ke achanak boss ne poochha: "Kya khayal hai aaj raat hum donon miyan biwi ki tarah guzarein"

Secretary sharmate huye boli: Sir, jaisi aap ki marzi.

Boss: To chalo phir apni bak bak band karo aur mujhe sone do.

HITLER said:
.
.
"War is better than love, because at the end of war you either live or die
.
.
But
.
.
At the end of love, U neither live nor die"

Husband gets ready to go for yoga. Wife wakes up

Husband : Honey are you coming along with me for yoga?
Wife : What do you want to say!! I am fat?
Husband : No problem, don't come if you don't feel like!
Wife : What do you mean?? Am i lazy??
Husband : Honey .. Why are you getting angry??
Wife : That means i fight with you all the time?
Husband : When did i say that?
Wife : So it means i am lying??
Husband : Okay fine i am not going!!
Wife : I understand everything, actually you didn't want to go!!

The husband decides to remain silent and goes off to bed!

Biwi ki pray: Hey bhagwan mere pati ko tarakki de, daulat de, car de, bangla de.
Mujhe tumse kuchh nahi chahiye. Tu sab kuchh mere pati ko de.

"Us se kaise lena hai yeh mera kaam hai"

Son: "Wife, biwi, patni, shrimati, aurat, ardhangini, gharwali in sab mein kya antar hai...?"

Father: "Beta, itna mat socho museebat ek naam anek..."